Where do you even buy canned kitten?
Can we stop pretending that anyone has ever eaten one Pop Tart at a time?
This tends to be an under-represented genre of music.
Since I’m already 99.9% sure that I’m never having sex with another person ever again, I should go ahead and buy this shirt.
Weird coincidence: “Heavyset Cheese Ball” is actually how I describe Paula Deen.
With apologies to Ian Hunter.
(I have no idea why this needed to exist. But it does and now it’s on the Internet.)
I am standing outside, quietly judging everyone who walks in for this.
Good God, The Replacements were amazing. I can’t even use real words right now. (at Forest Hills Tennis Stadium)
This is really happening tomorrow and I’m borderline delirious with excitement.
Those of you who live somewhere between Winston-Salem’s two Targets know that I’m a big fan of Jeffrey Dean Foster, a North Carolina musician who’s worked hard for every scratch on his guitar case, for every crumpled receipt from every small town gas station. If you’ve been lucky enough to catch him onstage this year (which could’ve been anywhere from Nashville to Chapel Hill to under the worn Amoco sign at The Garage downtown), then you totally understand why: because he plays the kind of music that can break your heart and/or buckle your knees all before the first chorus. Jeff has just announced that he has a new Mitch Easter-produced record (yes, that Mitch Easter of R.E.M. fame) coming out in November and he’s launched a Kickstarter campaign to help defray some of the costs of recording, mastering and manufacturing it.
Clicking this link and contributing a few bucks will get you an advance digital copy of the new album, which is astonishingly good. It sounds like the kind of classic rock that played on the radio when cereal boxes had real prizes, when a Springsteen iron-on was the coolest thing going, when you’d gladly sweat on the hot vinyl of your front seat if it meant hearing the rest of *that* song. Jeff writes *that* kind of song. They aren’t the kind of songs that will save your life; they’re the ones that remind you why life’s worth saving. And who couldn’t use a little more of that?
Spotify, you made my Monday (because my vinyl isn’t here yet!)
My hot upstairs neighbor has gotten a puppy. I give it another 48 hours before I blurt out something stupid in the elevator, like “SO ARE YOU GETTING NEUTERED I MEAN THE DOG IS THE DOG GETTING NEUTERED, NOT YOU, YOU LOOK PRETTY VIRILE, NOT THAT I CAN TELL BY STARING DIRECTLY AT YOUR CARGO SHORTS LIKE THIS BUT I BET YOURE DOING OK DOWN THERE OK WELL THIS IS MY FLOOR GOTTA GO JUMP OUT MY WINDOW NOW”
Sooooo how was your weekend?
I’m doing my first-ever Olympic weightlifting competition tomorrow. This is pretty much how I expect it to go.
Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Start