July 2010
33 posts
P.S. It's Birchard. The 'B' Stands for Birchard.
Rutherford? More like Rutherforgotten, amirite?!
I hate myself sometimes.
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My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-7-25) →
The xx (22)
Lemongrass (14)
Sting (12)
Syd Barrett (12)
John Coltrane (7)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
The Official State Neckwear of Arizona is the Bolo...
Huh.
This is only slightly less disturbing than the fact that Square Dancing is the official state dance of Alabama.
Covered in Shingles and Ready to Mingle
Pro: Shingles pain makes it impossible for me to wear pants.
Con: Any human contact will result in Itchy and Scratchy-caliber violence.
Verdict: Draw.
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Even If You're Someone I Hate
I wouldn’t send you the gift of shingles.
Seriously. I’ve had this shit for all of 48 hours and it’s the most miserable feeling this side of a Garfield: Tale of Two Kitties marathon. I cannot express how much I hate my nerve endings, my nervous system in general and whichever forgotten third grade classmate gave me the chicken pox virus that has been lingering in my body for...
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My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-7-18) →
Sting (40)
Tom Waits (33)
Huey Lewis & The News (10)
Neon Indian (7)
Robyn Hitchcock & The Egyptians (5)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
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“In the new Code of Laws which I suppose it will be necessary for you to make, I...”
– Abigail Adams, in a letter to her husband John (March 31, 1776).
There is a reason why I’m immersing myself in American History and, I swear, you’ll all find out what it is in a couple of months. Until then, I’m cursing the fact that my high school history professors—in...
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-7-11) →
The Hold Steady (32)
Infant Sorrow (22)
Suckers (21)
Eminem (21)
Pernice Brothers (18)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
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The World Cup, A Porn Star & A Bed of Empty... →
I blame Diego Maradona. Argentina’s adorably unhinged coach made a pre-World Cup promise to run naked through the streets if La Albiceleste brought the trophy back to the southern hemisphere, so when Germany buried the Blue and White 4-0, the citizens of Buenos Aires probably didn’t know whether to be devastated or relieved. Last week, his offer was copied by Larissa Riquelme, a...
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My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-7-4) →
The Kinks (44)
Eminem (34)
Miles Davis (26)
Alejandro Escovedo (25)
Wavves (24)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
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“It was undoubtedly because she’d been in a bad mood at some point. Lisbeth...”
– From Nora Ephron’s entirely perfect Stieg Larsson parody, The Girl Who Fixed the Umlaut.
Because of this, I forgive her for the Bewitched remake.
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“If his jaw stays elastic and his stomach lining remains supple, we’re...”
– Richard Shea—president of the International Federation of Competitive Eating—on the future of Joey Chestnut, who will be competing in today’s Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest.
I dream of the day someone praises my own supple stomach lining.
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Nails for Sale: Lenny Dykstra & the Big Ripoff →
Anyone who spent the late 1980s collecting Topps cards surely remembers Lenny Dykstra, the mullet-wearing Mets hero who later helped pull the Phillies out of the National League basement and into the World Series. He was rarely seen without a wad of tobacco the size of a Scottish terrier and played a kind of old-school, all-out style that saw him sliding headfirst into second base or running...
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Ophelia? I Barely Know Ya
So I’m summarizing most of Shakespeare’s major plays and—when it comes to chicks—I find myself writing “Goes Mad, Dies” more than you’d expect.