So It Goes

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GPOYW: Fish Fighting Edition
A .jpg in which I wear too much Bruins merch.  It’s also a .jpg taken from the angle that best highlights the Steve Carell-ish proportions of my nose.

GPOYW: Fish Fighting Edition

A .jpg in which I wear too much Bruins merch.  It’s also a .jpg taken from the angle that best highlights the Steve Carell-ish proportions of my nose.

Playing Favorites.

I’m at least three days behind on this, but wanted to post my favorite albums and artists of the last calendar year.  I’m not going to say that these were the best or most acclaim-worthy or Bon Iver-ish records of the year; you guys know that my tastes run toward pub rock and middle-aged Englishmen. 

BUT last year I did manage to make a few footsteps away from the path that leads to Robyn Hitchcock.  And, although Nick Lowe released another disc, it didn’t make the list, partially because as exquisite as “House for Sale” and “I Read a Lot” are, “Restless Feeling” sounds like something you’d hear over the speakers at the Borgata Casino while you sniff a plate of cocktail shrimp and decide whether they’re still fresh enough to eat. 

If I’m forced to choose an absolute favorite, it would be a close call.  Some days, it might be head-Arctic Monkey Alex Turner’s solo outing for the Submarine soundtrack.  The kid might have some questionable hairstyles (see: his recent pompadour) but he knows how to spin a phrase. Others days, I’d pick Nothing is Wrong, by Laurel Canyon band Dawes, who borrowed Jackson Browne’s pre-political sound—and I mean that in the best possible way.

There are a couple of sentimental selections on here, mainly R.E.M.’s Collapse into Now.  It’s not the best of their back catalog, but since it’ll be the last non-greatest hits release, it made the list. The other is little-known Baxter Dury’s Happy Soup.  His late father Ian is my all-time favorite polio-afflicted pub rocker and the four letters of his last name carry a lot of weight in the middle of Greenwich Mean Time.  There’s no competitive “He’ll never be what his dad is” sneering; instead, I think people—like me—are just chuffed that Baxter can continue what his dad started.

Other notes: Elbow is about to suckerpunch mainstream America; they’re the track playing in the Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close trailer; I probably ran more miles listening to Zonoscope than any other album; Patrick Wolf’s “The City” is my go-to getting ready song.  When you listen to it, picture me doing my best attempt at dancing before slipping on the long end of a bath towel and careening headfirst into the shower door.  You’re welcome; I feel ridiculous writing TUNE-YARDS as they want it to be written.  It’s not like they’re EE CUMMINGS or some shit.  Also, I’m not cool enough for that album, not at all.  I know that my sweatpants and I are going to be listening to it while I drink store-brand skim milk when someone from the label comes into my apartment and confiscates it.  Neither one of us will say a word.  We’ll…just…know; Both Noel and Liam Gallagher released post-Oasis records.  Not only are Noel’s High Flying Birds better than the Lennon-lite of Liam’s Beady Eye, he’s written a solid collection of songs, period. 

So, here goes, the records I spun the most and enjoyed the most between last January and today. 

Alex Turner, Submarine [Original Songs]

Baxter Dury, Happy Soup

The Black Keys, El Camino

Cut Copy, Zonoscope

Dawes, Nothing is Wrong

The Decemberists, The King is Dead

Destroyer, Kaputt

Elbow, Build a Rocket Boys!

Frank Turner, England Keep My Bones

Frankie & the Heartstrings, Hunger

The Head and the Heart, The Head and the Heart

Gil Scott-Heron & Jamie xx, We’re New Here

Girls, Father, Son, Holy Ghost

Givers, In Light

Grouplove, Never Trust a Happy Song

Gruff Rhys, Hotel Shampoo

Holy Ghost, Holy Ghost!

Mayer Hawthorne, How Do You Do

Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds, Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds

Patrick Wolf, Lupercalia

R.E.M., Collapse Into Now

SBTRKT, SBTRKT

The Streets, Computers and Blues

The Vaccines, What Did You Expect from the Vaccines?

tUnE-YarDs, w h o k i l l 

Wilco, The Whole Love

WU LYF, Go Tell Fire to the Mountain

Yuck, Yuck

Also, here’s an overstuffed Spotify playlist, just in case you’ve ever wanted your home or office to sound like my apartment.  [HTML or URI]

Final Destination

Thank you all for your tips, suggestions and concern that someone will have to scoop my charred remains into a tattered New Balance box tomorrow morning.  I love you, Internet.

BUT.

Now I have a chorus. Every time the smoke alarm squeals, my upstairs neighbor drops what sounds like a box of scrap metal on the floor while shouting a mix of obscenities that make me think English isn’t her first language.

SO.

I’m going to my boyfriend’s house.  FIGHT IT OUT, YOU TWO.

R.I.P.

I just know this is going to end up on the Yahoo! homepage tomorrow: Woman Electrocuted By Smoke Alarm She Blogged About JUST MINUTES BEFORE HER DEATH.

As long as I’m described as “impossibly lithe” somewhere in the first two paragraphs, I’m OK with this.

SMOKE ALARM FOLLOWUP

OK, this makes me feel very John McClane. It’s a First Alert brand OF POSSESSED PLASTIC SHIT. There are three wires connecting it to a potential death tangle crammed into the ceiling.  The black one is labeled “Wire”, the Orange is “Interconnect” and the White is Neutral. Can I touch any of those? And by “touch”, I mean “grab with both hands and yank as I jump from the top of the ladder”.

There’s also a Warning, but it’s too high to read.

You know what, screw it.  Who wants to buy a condo?

Dear Potential Heroes and/or My New Best Friend:
This is my smoke alarm or, more accurately, what’s left of it.  Last night about halfway through the third period of the Bruins/Coyotes game (or 11:45 p.m. in non-puck time) it started shrieking about every five minutes.  By 2:45 a.m., it had quickened its pace to suicide-inducing 90 second intervals.
So. I climbed on a stepladder, bleary-eyed from lack of sleep and shaking with pants-shitting fury, completely ignoring the fact that everyone within a block and a half could see my naked lower half (because of bedtime, not because of the shit.  The shit is figurative.) through the un-blinded parts of the windows.
ANYWAY. I smashed at it as best I could while balancing on the top rung of a ladder in worn Halloween socks.  I pulled the batteries out.  I inadvertently broke the casing.  I might have thought about yanking some wires until I visualized the terror of my loved ones discovering my charred, Franken-socked body.
ANYWAY AGAIN.  It’s STILL shrieking and I seriously can’t take it anymore.  Building management hasn’t returned my calls, probably because they can sense my Angry through their phones.  Is there ANY FUCKING WAY to make this stop, short of wildly bashing at the ceiling with a Louisville Slugger?
It has NO batteries, I’ve tried cutting every breaker not marked “Dishwasher” or “Laundry Room” BUT IT WON’T STOP AND SWEET CHRIST THERE IT WAS AGAIN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP AND ALSO SEND NEW SOCKS. JUST STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT
(But seriously, any ideas?)

Dear Potential Heroes and/or My New Best Friend:

This is my smoke alarm or, more accurately, what’s left of it.  Last night about halfway through the third period of the Bruins/Coyotes game (or 11:45 p.m. in non-puck time) it started shrieking about every five minutes.  By 2:45 a.m., it had quickened its pace to suicide-inducing 90 second intervals.

So. I climbed on a stepladder, bleary-eyed from lack of sleep and shaking with pants-shitting fury, completely ignoring the fact that everyone within a block and a half could see my naked lower half (because of bedtime, not because of the shit.  The shit is figurative.) through the un-blinded parts of the windows.

ANYWAY. I smashed at it as best I could while balancing on the top rung of a ladder in worn Halloween socks.  I pulled the batteries out.  I inadvertently broke the casing.  I might have thought about yanking some wires until I visualized the terror of my loved ones discovering my charred, Franken-socked body.

ANYWAY AGAIN.  It’s STILL shrieking and I seriously can’t take it anymore.  Building management hasn’t returned my calls, probably because they can sense my Angry through their phones.  Is there ANY FUCKING WAY to make this stop, short of wildly bashing at the ceiling with a Louisville Slugger?

It has NO batteries, I’ve tried cutting every breaker not marked “Dishwasher” or “Laundry Room” BUT IT WON’T STOP AND SWEET CHRIST THERE IT WAS AGAIN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP AND ALSO SEND NEW SOCKS. JUST STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT

(But seriously, any ideas?)