Here Mom, Happy Mother’s Day. No, it’s not just a t-shirt I hastily yanked off a plastic hanger and crammed into a gift bag, not this year. There’s actually more to it since—wait for it…wait for it—you’re gonna have to pitch a couple of innings of middle relief today. Yes, really. Just a couple of batters. You’ll be on the mound against Tampa Bay and they’re good against righties, so let’s practice getting your glove up. What? I know, but that’s why you’re on Boniva and eat all that yogurt, right? At worst, you’ll take a one-hopper to the shinbone. AT WORST. OK, now how’s your slider? No, not the door to the sunroom. The pitch. Hang on, let me get my catcher’s mitt.
