It’s going to happen. I’ll be walking into a stadium, wearing someone else’s last name screenprinted across my shoulder blades and clutching a creased print-at-home ticket when a security guard with a part-time paycheck and a full-time attitude problem will stop me.
He’ll call me ma’am. I’ll make a mental note to start using an undereye cream. “Ma’am,” he’ll repeat. “We’re going to need to check that bag for weapons, for glass containers … and for pork products.”
This week for NBC Sports, I talk about stupid fans, the kind that throw mechanically-separated pork products at professional golfers. This kind of thing always makes me wonder what kind of repercussions the rest of us will face, whether it’s increased bag searches or even more restricted access to the course (or the field or the stadium). I know. It sounds ridiculous. But so did the thought of walking through a metal detector on the way to a college football game.
Click HERE for the rest, especially if you want to know whether I made it through an entire Tiger Woods-related column without making any obvious weiner jokes.
