Twitter leavings

May 30 2009

So this—The Twin City Rib Fest—is apparently happening soon and while I won’t be attending, I’m not sure it’s appropriate to list Vanilla Ice under “Entertainment”. Can anyone think of a worse concert experience? Because I can only imagine that what might begin as an ironic evening standing in front of a stage at the Dixie Classic Fairgrounds would quickly devolve into time spent staring at the ground, texting pained messages to the people who wisely opted to stay home watching Meerkat Manor, and the horrifying understanding that you were going to have to sit through at least an hour’s worth of musical abortions before he launched into “Ice Ice Baby”. One hit wonders translate into horrible concerts.  Especially when that one hit is buried at the end of a set of rap-rock, my least favorite hyphenated term ever. __________ I had a friend who used to pluck the bass for a band called Cowboy Mouth. In the late 90s, they had some moderate success with a song called “Jenny Says”, and I say moderate because the video seemed to only show up on MTV between the hours of 2 and 4 a.m. and the apex of their career was an appearance on Regis and Kathy Lee. Anyway, the increased radio play led to a swell in the size of the audience, most of whom just knew the one song. Drummer and lead singer Fred LeBlanc would take a seat behind his kit, stare at the fresh-faced crowd and loudly announce “It’s gonna be a long damn time before we play ‘Jenny Says’”. They were good enough, though, that I don’t think anyone minded.1 I’m not sure that’s the case with Robbie “Vanilla Ice” Van Winkle. 1 Cowboy Mouth still tours, like, 340 days a year and although two of the original members (including my friend) have unplugged their amps and moved on, they’re still worth checking out if they roll into your town.  A night with them is like half concert, half life-affirming tent revival that typically ends with a barefoot LeBlanc climbing on whatever piece of the stage he can scale and asking “Aren’t you glad to be aliiiiiiiive?”. If you weren’t when you got there, chances are you will be when you walk out. Bonus Fun Fact: Lead guitarist John Thomas Griffith has come thisclose to success in a pair of bands, including a stint in the Red Rockers, a band whose one hit “China” was big enough to get ‘em an opening slot for a band of up-n-coming Irish kids called U2.  It’s also a popular track on the Muzak circuit, recently scoring my last trip to the bank and a separate stop at Walgreens.

So this—The Twin City Rib Fest—is apparently happening soon and while I won’t be attending, I’m not sure it’s appropriate to list Vanilla Ice under “Entertainment”.

Can anyone think of a worse concert experience? Because I can only imagine that what might begin as an ironic evening standing in front of a stage at the Dixie Classic Fairgrounds would quickly devolve into time spent staring at the ground, texting pained messages to the people who wisely opted to stay home watching Meerkat Manor, and the horrifying understanding that you were going to have to sit through at least an hour’s worth of musical abortions before he launched into “Ice Ice Baby”.

One hit wonders translate into horrible concerts.  Especially when that one hit is buried at the end of a set of rap-rock, my least favorite hyphenated term ever.
__________

I had a friend who used to pluck the bass for a band called Cowboy Mouth. In the late 90s, they had some moderate success with a song called “Jenny Says”, and I say moderate because the video seemed to only show up on MTV between the hours of 2 and 4 a.m. and the apex of their career was an appearance on Regis and Kathy Lee. Anyway, the increased radio play led to a swell in the size of the audience, most of whom just knew the one song. Drummer and lead singer Fred LeBlanc would take a seat behind his kit, stare at the fresh-faced crowd and loudly announce “It’s gonna be a long damn time before we play ‘Jenny Says’”. They were good enough, though, that I don’t think anyone minded.1

I’m not sure that’s the case with Robbie “Vanilla Ice” Van Winkle.

1 Cowboy Mouth still tours, like, 340 days a year and although two of the original members (including my friend) have unplugged their amps and moved on, they’re still worth checking out if they roll into your town.  A night with them is like half concert, half life-affirming tent revival that typically ends with a barefoot LeBlanc climbing on whatever piece of the stage he can scale and asking “Aren’t you glad to be aliiiiiiiive?”.

If you weren’t when you got there, chances are you will be when you walk out.

Bonus Fun Fact: Lead guitarist John Thomas Griffith has come thisclose to success in a pair of bands, including a stint in the Red Rockers, a band whose one hit “China” was big enough to get ‘em an opening slot for a band of up-n-coming Irish kids called U2.  It’s also a popular track on the Muzak circuit, recently scoring my last trip to the bank and a separate stop at Walgreens.

  1. gordonshumway posted this