I’m pretty sure that I heard the robot judging me when she gave the one-sided recount of the purchase that sent my net worth into the negative numbers and it didn’t brighten my spirits to shout “YEAH, WELL AT LEAST I HAVE ARMS” before throwing my phone into the sofa cushions.  Usually it does.

On today’s episode of the Tangle of Misfortune I call my life, I’ll teach you how to spend $39 at McDonald’s.