… I ordered a couple of Christmas gifts online, carefully logging their tracking numbers and arrival dates into an Excel spreadsheet because that’s what lonely people do. All but one had arrived before I packed my bags, and I knew that box and I would probably pass each other on an air traffic controller’s computer screen. Sure enough, according to the UPS website, it was delivered about the time I was drinking a beverage called a Zombie and wondering whether I’d ever feel my face again.
When I got home, I expected to see it waiting for me like a loyal cardboard pet.
I looked in the lobby. Nothing. I checked my front door. Not there. I even looked to see if someone had launched it onto the balcony. Nope.
This week for Relish, I wrote about the Worst Person in the World Ever, who is otherwise known as whatever scum-encrusted human sleaze swiped an undelivered Christmas present from the lobby of my building. Read the rest HERE.
