If I was a hairless spinster/Covered in festering boils
Would you still make love to me/Or would you recoil?
Dip me in the custard/Cover me with mustard
As long as we are clustered/It’s alright/I’ve got a message for you
Though I’m not a piece of veal/Or a piece of ham
Can’t you get your teeth in me/Just the way I am?
—Robyn Hitchcock, “I Got a Message For You”
His lyrics just bellow BE MY VALENTINE. Hallmark, I think it’s time for a line of condiment-themed cards for your “Significant Other” section.
Also, Confidential to Robyn Hitchcock: Yes, no, and yes.
