How do you work this thing?
That’s what I want to know
It should reinflate when you’ve used it
So you can have yourself another go

—Robyn Hitchcock*, “How Do You Work This Thing”

My Valentine’s day is obviously awesome. I’ve been sifting through six days of laundry, wondering how much cold-relieving Afrin I can snort before it dissolves my skull, and trying to nibble a Pop Tart into the shape of a heart. A human one.

* I swear I’ll cut it out with the Robyn-With-A-Y in a few days. I’m still riding the wave of SQUEEEEEE after catching him live for the first time.