“
In November 2000, the United States held a presidential election and nobody knew who won, so we just kind of made up an outcome and tried to act like that was normal. Less than a year later, airplanes flew into office buildings and everybody cried for two weeks. And then Enron went bankrupt, and then the U.S. became a rogue state, and then The Simple Life premiered, and then gasoline became unaffordable, and then our Olympic basketball team lost to Puerto Rico, and then we reelected the same unqualified president we never really elected in the first place. Later, there would be some especially devastating hurricanes and the release of a horrible movie titled Crash.
Things, as they say, have been better.
”Chuck Klosterman, circa 2005.
I have a love-hate thing with Mr. Klosterman, because most of the time I read his work and honestly believe I could have his career, that I straddle the line between “engaging proficient writer” and “pop culture-spewing douchenozzle” just as well as he does. Then I’ll read passages from Killing Yourself to Live or the paragraph above and I’ll realize that, no, the gap between me and Chuck Klosterman is as wide as the one between a successful major network sitcom and the direct-to-DVD animated spinoff.
Although we both probably own the same number of smug music-related t-shirts.
