So It Goes

FOOBAW!

Thu, 02 Sep 2010 18:59:03 -0400

FOOBAW!

It’s football season! It’s football season!...

Thu, 02 Sep 2010 17:14:34 -0400

It’s football season! It’s football season! It’s…yeah, you get the idea.

—via atfrageelay:missdisgrace:tristanx

Thu, 02 Sep 2010 16:43:19 -0400

—via atfrageelay:missdisgrace:tristanx

Bell X1: “The Great Defector” I’ll say,...

Thu, 02 Sep 2010 14:43:47 -0400

Bell X1: “The Great Defector”

I’ll say, “You’re the chocolate at the end of my Cornetto.”

Then he’ll say, “I love the way your underwire bra always sets off that X-ray machine.”

And we’ll know that we’ve both listened to the first minute of this song, one that I’m pretty sure was beamed directly from David Byrne’s brain to Paul Noonan’s mouth.

No, Bluefly, no. My closet—nor any other part of my...

Thu, 02 Sep 2010 07:22:00 -0400

No, Bluefly, no. My closet—nor any other part of my home—is begging for Jeggings.

In addition to being the dumbest word since “investigoogle”, Jeggings look like the result of a drunken hookup between my running tights and the beat up pair of Levis that lives in the back of my closet.

They’re like the clothing equivalent of Molly Ringwald giving one earring to Judd Nelson as they stumble out of Saturday detention.

A lesson about birds. Birds, and pants. —via...

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 22:35:43 -0400

A lesson about birds. Birds, and pants.

—via lessonsforchildren

Hello, Lover.

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 20:10:09 -0400

Hello, Lover.

Neon Trees: “Your Surrender” (The Killers - Ironic...

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 19:56:15 -0400

Neon Trees: “Your Surrender”

(The Killers - Ironic Mustaches + David Bowie) x Asymmetrical Hairstyles = Neon Trees

Bedazzled

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 11:50:17 -0400

The jeweler will notice the college logo bottle opener on your keychain at exactly the moment you try to conceal it. Your eyes will meet and you’ll both realize that it’s pointless for her to tell you about their latest collection from Charles Krypell.

Photo

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 10:13:00 -0400

"I don’t really know what else I could possibly do. It probably goes beyond football, beyond..."

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 08:18:03 -0400

“I don’t really know what else I could possibly do. It probably goes beyond football, beyond the field actually. For me, I am not making excuses. I am not going to complain. For me, I just really want an explanation and I haven’t been given one.”

- Matt Leinart, discussing his feelings about not being named the Cardinals’ starting quarterback.

You want an explanation, Matt? You’ve been a constant source of disappointment ever since you framed your USC jersey—and don’t even pretend that it’s not nailed to your wall somewhere—and posed with the Heisman trophy. You’re not an NFL quarterback, not when I’ve seen Taco Bell workers launch gorditas out the drive-thru window with more power than you put on a football. You were good in college—very good, even—but you don’t belong in the NFL any more than I belong in a job that requires social interaction.

Seriously, Matt, you don’t want an explanation, even though we’re all too eager to give you one. Now could you hold this clipboard for me? I’ve got work to do.

—via albumtacos

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 06:57:55 -0400

—via albumtacos

I’m going to Bisquit coming here until they discover spell...

Tue, 31 Aug 2010 20:18:00 -0400

I’m going to Bisquit coming here until they discover spell check.

Bisquit. BISQUIT.

DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE?! DO YOU?

So anyway, totally eating alone.

My Top 5 [Week of August 29]

Tue, 31 Aug 2010 14:05:00 -0400

My Top 5 [Week of August 29]:

Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz

"Will seldom showed any emotion, but she knew that torture victims cut him close to the bone."

Tue, 31 Aug 2010 09:48:00 -0400

“Will seldom showed any emotion, but she knew that torture victims cut him close to the bone.”

- Seriously, Karin Slaughter? That’s seriously the sentence you decided to go with?

Here’s where I roll my eyes and debate whether you’re either the most subversively brilliant or the most brain-stabbingly terrible author of all time.

[See Also: Example One, Example Two]

Photo

Tue, 31 Aug 2010 09:15:22 -0400

My beloved Kurt Warner emptied his locker for the last time in...

Tue, 31 Aug 2010 08:05:00 -0400

My beloved Kurt Warner emptied his locker for the last time in January, packing up his shoulder pads and his concussion-addled brain at the end of last season. Last night it was announced that he’ll be spending his retirement as part of the cast of Dancing with the Stars, along with superfertile Alaskan Bristol Palin, a Wesson Oil-sweating Florence Henderson, and the remaining shards of David Hasselhoff’s career.

It’s going to take some time for me to process this. I’ve already debated whether I’ll be wearing my St. Louis Rams jersey while I watch the show and weep, or whether it’ll be the Arizona Cardinals one. Either way, there will be weeping.

Robyn Hitchcock & the Egyptians“So You Think...

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 15:05:00 -0400

Robyn Hitchcock & the Egyptians
“So You Think You’re in Love”
Live at the Cambridge Folk Festival

It’s been an unforgivably long time since I pasted any of Mister Hitchcock’s songs to this site. Here’s the one that’s been in my head all day.

Ted Williams and a grander1 black marlin he caught off Cabo...

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 14:37:41 -0400

Ted Williams and a grander¹ black marlin he caught off Cabo Blanco, Peru in 1954.

¹ A fish that weighs more than 1,000 pounds, or roughly the size of late-period Marlon Brando.

"Go shit in your hat."

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 13:41:00 -0400

“Go shit in your hat.”

- My favorite line from my second piece of hate mail.

I feel like this will be one of the stories I’ll share if I’m ever asked to speak at a High School Career Day.

Also, my new goal is to become successful enough to hire someone to shit in my hat for me.